Stress & Mess

I don’t even know what’s going on with me anymore
Everyday I wake up stressed out and sore
I go to school to deal with people
Stuck up, young, old, and feeble
I deal with attitudes, with anger, with rage
Every single day I tiredly flip the page
I know that my book can’t hardly be finished
I want a new chapter, that’s all that I wish
I wish to get away from the haters, the jerks.
From the people who think they’re better than you when really
They are on the exact same level.
I want to get away from the people who use “i love you” loosely
They want me for what I can give them
Answers.
Tutoring.
Assignments.
Help.
They don’t want me for me.
I am tired of it.
Tired of waiting for someone to come around that actually cares about what I can do
Who I am.
What I want to be.
What I will become.
I am waiting for a person at my school to finally realize
That if they are going to change a lightbulb they have to turn their hand
because the world doesn’t revolve around them.
I want people to stop talking about me when all I do is put on a brave face and power through
I want friends that are real friends
Guys that can make me laugh until it hurts to breathe
I want to be happy.
And as soon as I write these essays, dot my i’s, cross my t’s..
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.

Whenever and Wherever

You've gotten a lot farther away...
Seemingly because of the many months that we didn't talk
So far away that even my reach can't bring you back
Back to the times where we were inseperable
Where our friendship was incomparable
and where "Incomparable" was a song you introduced me to
You don't know how many times our old friendship has helped me through times
How can that be? Readers might ask
How can an old friendship help someone if it is exactly as the name implies... "Old"
"Used"
"History"
Well, emails and IM's explain it all
From hours upon hours of conversations
Countless inside jokes
Countless games of Tic-Tac-Toe and Connect Four
So many emails that the folder specifically labeled for your emails is overfilled.
See what I mean?
Those times when I didn't have anyone to talk to
When I needed a smile like you were always willing to provide
I just read our conversations
and they never fail
Whenever I needed a boost
of encouragement
of self esteem
of my future plans
I read our emails and every nice thing you ever said
Even if I had to search long and hard for it
I read every cheesy pick up line that at one point we came up with
Every competition we had whether it was Marvel vs. DC or Asians vs. Hispanic
When bad memories came flooding back from family problems
I looked at all of the funny pictures that we sent back and forth for weeks
See what I mean?
Wherever I was
Whether hours away from home or 30 minutes away,
remembering our friendship always brought me straight back home
Cheesy I know..
From all the "Your Mom" jokes
to even jokes that made no sense
You stood by every stupid thing I said and I corrected the countless grammar mistakes that you committed...
I miss you buddy....
I really haven't had many friends like you...
And I don't think you realize how much I appreciate the fact that you were there when no one else was.
That you were the first guy in a long time that I considered a best friend.
Whenever I needed you, you were there.
And whenever you need me, whether now or in the future, I'll be there too mi amigo.
Peace out, Kare