just so Mad. and Sad. and Disappointed

I know why I am MAD. My mom who actually never even TRIES to listen to me makes me Mad. I try to talk to her and either she has something else to do or she just doesn't listen. I am just so tempted to tell her that by the time I am 30 years old I am going to be the girl who goes to a party and is like "oh.. you've had 17 amazing guy friends.... yeah how many have I had? ummm one... he broke up with me because of my family... yep.. i know SUCKS DOESN'T IT?" SAD because the one guy that actually cares about me RIGHT NOW... is starting to withdraw because AGAIN I know my mom won't let me.. and you know the excuse "but everyone else has one".... it is actually true this time. All of my friends who have bf's are still the same before and after... THEIR GRADES DON'T CHANGE! she kinda needs to understand that. I am disappointed in myself because not only do I NOT have the guts to tell the guy... i don't have the guts to tell my mom how I really feel. I am SICK and TIRED of putting this mask up for the whole world to think tht everything in my life is fine and dandy. WHEN IT IS NOT.